Family?

We went to KLCC to meet up with his family members at San Francisco's Coffee. We headed to Madam Kwan's cafe to have our lunch. His dad is a very good tailor in Johor Bahru and his mum is a very good housewife. The eldest sister is Jaime, which is pretty and engaged, second was his brother San Nien, with knowledges from Australia and Singapore, and second sister, Racheal (Rachel) a cute sister and lastly my dear Fylix Chong! Who just graduated with me and now having lunch together (:

Was a little surprised when his dad asked how long were we together and I answered after tomorrow it's the fifth month. Oh well, friendly nice family but I was too shy, so I just kept quiet till they asked me some questions :x

Went for a little shopping at Marks & Spencer, Zara, Isetan and Mango and they bought some stuffs back. A little disappointed cuz' they didn't get to eat what my b kept saying that the Wantan Mee at Sungai Besi that taste way way way way amazing.

Yummy hand cooked chips with smokey BBQ flavour.

*thumbs up!*

 Cookies! Must try this cuz' this is too yummy to be true! xD

*double thumbs up!*

Oh ya, a little small gift from his mum.

Godiva Chocolate. (:

Anyway, was very very happy with your family with some laughters all along the way. I will someday visit JB with you like what your mum somehow invited and as your dad said that it's fun and pretty there. Lol.

Graduation

YES! I finally graduated! From all the hard works that I've done has finally got me passed and continue my steps to complete the path of my dreams. Although neither best stage design nor top student awards are won, but I'm still very happy with what I've done and graduated with all my special ones, Fylix Chong (my beloved), Zen Chong (son), Chua Chee Cai (SFH :x, Ks.Lgd.Ice Pro), Cindy Gwee (chopstick sista) and my fellow classmates. Also my family put many pressures on me on coming back late and sleeping and doing things at imba times but now that I've gone through everything, it worths. (:

 My evil twin sister, Cindy! ♥

My classmate, Ferry!

The gang of us with Ferry joining us ;)

Chua Chee Cai (Ice), Zen Chong, Ferry, Cindy, Fylix (B), Ivy (Me)

As I walked the stage, got my certificate and posed for a group photo, it felt so "done" that's the only word that I can say. Now that I'm free from stress and heavy shoulders, all I want now is live a normal life and be happy with everyone and stay with the person I loved. By the way, my parents gave me a bouquet of pink roses too. (:

Me with Cindy twin sista and used to be a friend, top student of Interior Design, Monica. ♥

Three-quarter of Interior Design students! ♥♥

I've been introduced to his family on that day and so does him. It's just that the feedback were just so so I guess. Got invited for lunch tomorrow and off they going back to Johor Bahru. I'm extremely tired and gotta jump onto my bed and sleep with whatever patterns I have. Ciaos, buds. Loves.

♥♥♥♥♥ With lotsa love. ♥♥♥♥♥

♥ . xoxo . ♥

Just bare with the tired look cuz' we rushed our works for a few nights and days with minimum sleeping hours. 

Burst

Fuck fuck fuck! All you do is to fuck every time I came back late because I was stuck on my work. Waiting for me downstairs? Pathetic. You wanna see a guy or a girl sent me home? Yeah it's a guy so what? This world besides male and female, what else do we have? You want an animal, ghost or any objects to send me home? Or you prefer cops to send me home like you watch those movies? I came home late you fuck but don't fuck me that I lied that I'm rushing my work that I'm seriously working on it hard. You don't believe then don't fucking come for my graduation and don't talk so much. Just wanna see me eh? Fuck you, and I don't think I wanna see you that often cuz' you're making me sick for not even concern on my studies on what am I studying and acted like you did. Oops forget to tell you that umm when you rushed to my school that day just to clarify your stupid ego brains in the staff room, lecturers laughed at your clarification which as if like I'm the only one facing all this shit problems. Wake up dude! Which world and era you're still in?

Makes me feel regret so much for telling you guys that I'm gonna graduate and invited you guys and you said "Do we have to attend?" Then should I just say "I lied?". Hmm, I think I should just graduate alone, fast, and get out of this country and your boundary to search for my own life. I won't be concerning so much on you guys anymore which making me even more sick.

There goes mum's turn, Hi! You're concern I know not much thing about you but once you told me that people told you about the Facebook status which says that I'm engaged, it's like OMG! Fuck you adults have no brains? I thought you business guys have very smart brains but without EQ? Damn. Believing every shits from Facebook it's like so damn brainless. Believe it or not is your choice, it's okay, but telling or asking my parents or not I don't think there isn't any choice? Why don't you just ask directly from me? Wait wait wait.. Or maybe you shouldn't ask at all cuz' its wasting everyone's time. Seriously, heard this from my mum I don't know whether I should have laughed out loud or got stunned.

Maybe next week I'll change it to married and in five to nine months time I'll change it to "pregnant" (if they have :P) and then after nine months then I'll just write my son/daughter's name there. BELIEVE IT LA DUMBFUCKS!

Moody

Can anyone give an answer for all the questions that I had in my head now? It's like.. I don't know what wrongs I did and I got fucked up. I didn't even wore a dress that I should have worn tonight for my best friend's party which I don't feel like wearing dress so I just wore a normal casual wear as it is. I went to Jogoya at Starhill, after all the rush and the jams around KL roads with stupid traffic polices, I just ate a few things which costs me RM57. It's okay but I still chat with you through messaging with my phone while I'm eating unless I'm grabbing food around. I still can't see what's wrong. You told me you were jealous, but this party is my best friend's that I never rejected. I know my ex went together, but I was all the while in a chaotic situation which it's hot, stuffy and noisy. I replied every single message of yours after I've received. Till this end, I still don't see any wrong. Yes there are some pictures of me and him in a group photo which is just next to each other and one is one-by-one picture but I can swear that I never hugged or kissed or did anything which is very wrong to the relationship. I was jealous about you chatting with your ex happily in front of me in the Live Messenger, I did nothing and I tried to control myself silently I walked to hid in the room. You found me and you knew I was jealous and you've tried to make me happy and then I did tried to think open-minded-ly. Maybe you're just thinking too much but when I asked you out, you said you don't wanna cuz' I invited you in the last minute. Or maybe I was being too harsh on you by asking you not to drink and smoke which you usually do. I don't think I've got the right rights to stop you from what you usually do and although if I did, it's just a kiss in the air. Sigh, I really don't know what to say about but no offence that it is definitely not a blame. MOODY is the word of the week for me now.

FML? No, I FYL!

I thought I've said and I've even told and even INFORMED you guys that I'll be doing my work at my friend's place and I would be coming back late at night many times ago. Yet, this morning as I came back at 5.00am+ you fucked me up because you think I lied that I'm fooling around in their house. Can you fucking understand how much work I have and how college life is? Do you have a fucking brain to not compare your age's college and today's college? Have you seen a designer's life is easy than making other people's life easy? Do you even fucking understand what a designer does? What to install into a good CPU to render fast and good and do I have it? You answer me all this and if I have all this I don't even need to go over to my friend's place. First of all, discussions and you complained that phone bill and electricity bill was too high. Now that I'm going there to do everything and saved more time dialing phones and shits, you asking me what do you think your home is? Hotel? Fuck you. I work till late night. I only work at night and why? Because it's fucking noisy in the morning and do you think people like you need inspirations? Need to think of new ideas each time when you design something? You think I'm studying business?! You calling your own "daughter" as PROSTITUTE just because I do my work at night and coming back late? Shit brains. Don't fuck my life up and my dream to accomplish this course. Why don't you do your stupid research and ask around than come to me and say that you wanna understand what I'm learning. I prove to you what I'm learning and what I'm doing in both hard and soft copies and you said you don't wanna see but instead following me to college later on. FINE I'll fucking bring you to college and ask my lecturer what am I doing and my progressions! You don't even fucking believe your own daughter then why must I believe you? You wanna do your stuff your problem la. Hello, I'm 19 now and I've never went clubbing before and I've only stayed bloody ONCE in a friend's house when I work till too late last time. Isn't that good enough being so fine at 19?! I don't know what your brains are full with stupid craps that you always read in newspapers and imagine that yourselves and maybe you just want me to be THAT LUCKY. Typing all this shits about both of you is tiring and I'm not gonna continue typing because my fingers are tired and so as my eyes.

Conclusion,
my life got fucked when I, use too much electricity, didn't sleep, sleep too late, come back late, sleep too much, working at night, work too much, being lazy when I'm free. You don't understand then bug off my life than asking me do you guys have to come for my graduation. I don't even need you guys to be there. Seriously, I'm fucking tired of you guys being such like only you're the only one working harshly on something than the others. YOU DON'T FUCK MY LIFE THIS TIME. I FUCK YOURS!

Birthday

Yes, it is my birthday today but something is not right keeping me away from it. Not that friends betrayed me or what but I felt that I am walking alone on the streets. I don't really know how to describe it much tho. Maybe listening songs that got me turned off? Looking at scenes that suppose to be very happy but end up I felt sad about it. I didn't want to celebrate my birthday not because I felt bad response or love or whatever. I'm just too busy with my assignments for my graduation that I don't even have the time to sleep, shop and relax. Sorry peeps and friends.

Photos I've deleted but what you've found maybe I haven't found that file and delete it completely. Yesterday, you brought me to dinner with your house mates but before that I was listening emo songs played on your computer and sometimes the way you talked to me wasn't when we first met. There's a few times but I'm trying to accept it as who you were. Talked about together that don't hide things but what are you doing now? You found it and I told you like what I did previously when I found out yours. I asked you yesterday when you sound kinda bad when I called you, all you said was nothing. In the end I read from some sources and I got what you meant last night. You promised me things but you just did it for that few weeks and in the end you still did it and got back to normal. Did I treat you like that? I am really sad when I'm typing this right now. I know everything is my fault for not doing something right for what I've said and the words you've taken. I don't know what to say any more although I know I somehow felt what you're trying to think and being emo of something related to me without telling me anything. My apology.

Love

For the first time I see drops of tears from your eyes because you saw my past and worried very much for me. It means very very much to me that what I felt inside you is very bad and hurtful. Usually I don't let people to touch my stuffs except those closest to me which one of them was you. Although I just bought it, I just stuffed everything into it without checking and cleaning up the messes that you've seen. Just now while you were locked up in your room just for a minute, I felt something is going wrong which is why I kept keeping an eye on you. While you were assisting me holding my hands down from your place to the car, you said something really really emo and the situation is going more and more moody. You were afraid that I might leave you because you weren't good enough for me and you were tired of being around on your age. The truth is, why would I leave someone who cared for me so so much and love me more than himself? If I leave one day, it means that I didn't appreciate this relationship which a guy like you, it has been disappeared years ago. You said that even if he kept contacting me in any ways, you wouldn't mind because you believe that I'm yours it means that I'm yours. I love you either and that is why I'm spending more of my lifetime with you than my close friends and family that I'd abandoned or somehow neglected. Likewise, I went to your place immediately after my dinner with my family and in the end while you were emo you were somehow pissed when I was having a bad headache trying to listen and understand which part were you talking about. Yes, to be honest, I was really sad and kept asking myself which wrong did I do? Hearing part, I had a very bad pair of ears that couldn't hear properly. But no matter how, we do forget and forgive each other in a more mature way than just to avoid and not doing anything about it or guessing around and creating doubts. Please please stop using your soul to hurt your body with the habits you had anymore which it really hurts me when I saw it or not. For the health's sake, I rather you chose one of them instead of taking both of them just because of uncontrolled emotions. That is just for tonight and for the next time, if there is, I would stop you in whatever ways that I could possibly do. Lastly, so sorry for making a sad night for you but I could guarantee that I would remove and change as much as I could. I loved you very much too. Please take care and start to realize more on your health. Loves.

.iloveyou.

♥

Habits

I found a new habit of mine which is I don't even blog when I'm busy like most people would say what they are buzzing about. Well, I am me tho. But since today I'm free, I'll just blog a little on what I did these days. I am very very very busy with my work these days and my sleeping time was upside down. Actually I really liked night life which I think it is more quiet and calm, avoid traffics and such but unfortunately my human bod can't take it. I'm used to sleep like this since I was in my high school (Sri Garden). Lately, my boyfriend, Fylix, was so so so into gym and he said he wanted to build up some muscles to me more masculine and so he pulled me along either with some of his friends too. I am not doing any gym at any famous gyms neither "Fitness First" nor "California Fitness" whatever you name it. I'm just going for a cheap one which is "Titanium" which I think it is fine with a pay of RM 5.00 per entry. No matter what gym you are going to as long as you exercise, every gym is the same. Right? Not gonna build up any muscles but just gonna work out to keep myself fit :D

Oops before I do forget that my college's graduation updates.

Venue          :     JW Marriott Hotel

                         Jalan Bukit Bintang, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

Date             :     23rd September 2010

Theme         :     VISIONS

Schedule      :    6.30p.m. - Exhibition

                          7.00p.m. - Convocation
                          8.30p.m. - Fashion Show

Ticket Price :     RM 100.00


p.s. : I know the price is a little more expensive than the previous term but I hope this term would be more fun and worth the pay. Enjoy. For any friends of friends of Interactive Media (I.M.) won't be graduating this term because of some errors. (:

Pissed

I am pissed. I am pissed. I am pissed. I am damn pissed at my stupid internet connection that was happening in my desktop computer. Working on my assignments already stressing me off and thought of chilling at the computer for awhile. Currently I think Facebook is making everything feels laggish and updating real slowly. It's okay and I went to my MSN to check if someone would chat with me. Found someone and chat a little while but waiting for no replies in both sides. Got pissed and called A and asked, and A said it wasn't A's fault while A is waiting for my reply too. It's the stupid internet problem or my computer which previously got polluted by the stupid virus that my brother did although it is somehow cleared. Chat with B in both Facebook and MSN and in the end looked for B. Was happy at the beginning till C kept calling and I guess B was pissed going around looking for shops that are still open for us to dine and C kept calling, calling and calling till both B and I were pissed. Sent B home and went out somewhere to breathe alone. Releasing some stress that supposed to be released hours ago. I know it's my attitude that it somehow ruined the whole thing but it's like I'm stuck in a deep hole and yet you're to pull me out of it than to put more sand into it. The whole condition was in a pissing mood and sorry for attitude-ing you and all the shits that I've done. Next time, I'll just do it alone.

I don't know what's happening to my life every now and then during August. To all friends of mine, I would say I actually forgotten that my birthday was close until someone reminded me. Actually all I wanted to say is, this year I don't think that I'm gonna celebrate it because I don't even have the mood to do so. Sorry friends. If someone would have said that I'm being "perasan" here, I'm just saying so and I didn't meant that there's any celebration or surprises. Not in a very good mood these days where everything seems to be very troublesome.

Squeezed!

My feeling now is feeling so squeezed. This evening went out with you and you gave me that kinda reply when I was trying my best not to be so stressed up over family relationships and you and his post. 08-08 is really not my day.

Case #1
A and B got quarreled and I got blamed because A was trying to "joke" with me and I told B about it and they quarreled and A asked me to settle it because I created it. You were the one who "joked" me and you said I started this mess. Then can I ask you a question within your age, is it fun enough for you? Why don't you just joke with someone else than your own family member. You knew this wasn't the first time and now you're doing it again. Are you a fool? You're pushing your bloody dirty stuffs to me and I ain't gonna apologize for it.

Case #2
C and I went out for C's lunch and then to KL Convention Centre to buy my external hard disc. It's crowded enough and I know I wanted to get something and once it's done we'll just leave immediately. I'm not blaming but C gave me those reply that makes me feel like maybe I should just shut up and talk to myself or something. Now it makes me feel crowded in myself. All of a sudden while taking things from C the feeling is so so cold that I felt like I'm suffocated. It's okay it's my fault I know.

Case #3
Went out for D's celebration and E was there also. Reminds me of the post that E did that "someone" told me that it's updated and so I went to read. I simply just couldn't accept the fact that this happened on me blindly. Seems like I'm the one being a fool, spinning around and around over and over again. It's like finally that blunt knife pierced into my heart which was more painful than breaking up. I didn't had any feelings during broke up but much hatred. I've already got over E but things said in that post I simply can't accept it as now I know myself that I'm in a relationship. Simply speechless.

I held my breath the whole day just to hope everything goes fine till the end of the day. I felt more like a burden now and everything just came into me today and I can't even hold my tears. I have to cry alone in my room so that I could just breathe a little. Yes, I am being rude at times but I'm awake. It seems like everything fell on me already and I hope I don't spoil any other things anymore.

Leave me alone.